Reflections

The last month particularly has been really exhausting.  A lot I’ve realized because I haven’t been trusting God for strength.  These are thoughts I written down so I could process it but I hope you find them edifying.

Where I was.
It is much easier for me to find my justification in what I do, in what I achieve, in what others say of me, than in Christ.  All of those are a usurping of the throne of Christ and are placing my faith and belief in myself.  It is easier, simpler, more self fulfilling to believe in that which I can know on my own power and name tangibly.  To the outsider the life appears the same.  It’s composed of the same actions, prayer, reading of the word, meeting with people, serving, but at a foundational level it’s built on something entirely different.  It’s built on my own power and my own word.  There’s fundamental unbelief of God and self-serving pride at the root of both of those.  The end of my actions is to build up my ego and my security in attempts to earn God’s approval.  So I met with people more than ever.  Good things, but my attitude was to assure myself that I was bearing fruit and walking in obedience instead of trusting that Christ’s work on the cross was already sufficient.